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The young portrait of an artist man:A Post-PostPostmodern Neo-Surrealist Baudrillardian Short Story

"I just need to write every day, you know, for practice, for peace of mind, so I'm not a goddamn liar" Typical banter coming from a twenty-something writer, especially one so arrogant. "I just feel I'm better, my words, the things I do aren't trash like everyone else." He thinks this freewrite is clever. A narcissist continues on, stroking his own ego, writing away late in the morning. "I just want my money, you know, you heard what I just read to you. They need to fucking pay me." Lazy, this is the only word to describe the writer and millions like him; they talk without writing anything worth anyone's time, 21st-century social torture.

A product of his environment, it would be a miracle if he didn't take himself so seriously and actually did his research, "I just feel like the government should be for the people, they've sold out to the corporations," he'd be much better off not spitting such blasphemies. With drugs, violence, and lack of education rampantly available, the author's ego is the biggest obstacle ever created. "Fuck you, it's my turn to play. I'm about to fucking smoke these fools, time to Call of Duty," An ego supported by a medley of digital inputs. "Did you hear about Yemen? The Houthi rebels have taken over a quarter of the country, and Al Qaeda has doubled down its presence. We have to do something; otherwise, it's going to be a bloodbath." Arrogant, flat arrogant.

Honesty is the best policy; however, "Have I ever smoked marijuana? No, I think drug use is a sign of deeper troubles in the individual," you have to get the job. Practice makes perfect, and in a land of superstars and new propagandists, lying is the easiest thing you can ever do.

"I promise I wrote all of this in a single shot at 5:39 am, on November 18, 2015, after unsuccessfully masturbating" But, like the author, your audience would never believe such a strange real. The truth is it took years to write this. "All of this really took me my whole life, and I wouldn't have not been able to do it without my parents and my siblings, all of whom are the reason I work hard to show people how different and amazing things can really be"

Arrogance seems to be the mark of those who are different, who are better, and the author thinks he is one of those people. "Hey man, I know you are nervous, but remember what Mike Tyson said 'everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face,' I want you to get out there and punch these fools in the face, I believe in you there's no way you won't change their lives."

For people like him, it will always be a failure; such off-putting attitudes towards everything makes people sick. "I wrote all night. I feel like it's something different, something fresh." And it won't be. He will always be a plagiarizer, having not read enough books to know someone else has already written this. "Mom, my teacher said there are no new concepts. We just keep reusing the same things over and over, fuck that guy, I'm going to show him." A daft punk, smug because his parents support him like a man child, how could his implications be true, can there be new things?

"We live in a universe of laws, we know this because of science, we tested this shit a hundred years ago it was x, we test it now its x, we can test it a million years from now it's always x that's why constants are constants, and we have laws about them, that's what I'm trying to tell you, dude." If only his future self could go back and sit down with him and explain all he's figured out.

Now, I need you to ask yourself

  1. Were the last 2 lines the final ones?

  2. Is the United States guilty of war crimes?

  3. 为什么我读这

  4. What is your proof that 1+1=2?


James "Trav White" Joyce.


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