The length of a day,
wears on me most
when the sun hides
behind the clouds,
shift with time and experience.
More dawn's, more dusks,
more chances to get it right.
In the pit of silence
I am at war with 2 things
The first, is my expectations (for myself)
And the second is what I can produce
My heart is full of
Love and aspiration.
I am eager for new opportunities, but
I’m focused and I’m patient
There is something to be said
For the work that I put in, to get here
Much of that was fueled from
Not really having anything at all.
So from the perspective of struggle,
I formed my dreams, my path
And set out to chase it.
On the other side of this
Is the battle of durability
I use to pray to God
For more opportunities to
Come my way and when
Things started rolling in,
I needed to have a seat
And have a real conversation with myself…
Was I writing ‘checks’ that I couldn’t cash?
Are the ways unto which I’ve made
Myself available doing ad-hoc things in support
Of my passions, still fulfilling,
Even if I am not technically doing the things
That I am passionate about?
Better yet, the real question I had to address, was
Have I stretched myself thin,
Wearing multiple hats?
It was rough coming back
From thinking that a creative funk
was somehow a sign that I needed to quit.
Days, weeks, months pass
And I am stuck in a silence
Trying to find my voice
Something real enough
Something thoughtful enough
We’ve all been through alot,
Through the pain, we found a spark,
And I am blessed that we are a long ways
from the days of getting dressed in the dark.
And so now,
because of what I’ve overcome
I expected to run it up and
Go crazy (in a good way),
But my reality requires a bit more patience
I am still much closer to the start of my journey
Than I am to the end of it
Forging new paths,
reinforcing old ones,
Going back for others
I’ve had to do it all along the way,
What I can produce
Will have to work,
for where I am today
As long as Im making real progress,
I cant let things like ego and
Expectations get in the way.
DOM ROOT 2020