Trying (Part One)


I'm trying to love myself, but sometimes I give up, similarly to how I give up on a math project. I will come back to it later, maybe in a couple of hours, or maybe in a couple of days. But I will come back to it. Sometimes, I just get a little tired. And if I had someone, they could help me, similarly to how a calculator helps the math work get done quicker. Self-love is a challenge, but I'm getting better at it. All it takes its practice and time.

I believe that everyone struggles with self love. I wrote this poem and incorporated the metaphor of the calculator because I think two things I struggle constantly are math and self-love. When I look in the mirror, negative comments seem to flow out of my mouth like water. But one day I stopped to think: why are we so torturous to ourselves? Personally, I try to lift up the people around me, but then I go home and tell myself how shitty I am. Why don't I make efforts to encourage myself? I spit out vile comments about my looks, my personality, my dreams. These thoughts constantly run through my head. If I'm being honest, the only time I have felt truly confident about myself is when I was talking to someone who fed me compliments, They reassured me. But, I think we all have found that lust and love are two completely different beasts. Before I rush into a relationship, I need to take the time to love me for everything I am and am not. Because in all honesty, can someone truly love you if you don't love yourself?


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