Bitchin'
I guess I'm a bitch.
I don't tolerate being disrespected.
Not the type to pop off because I'm unrelenting.
Instead I speak my peace and try to listen.
I come to every discussion prepared with solutions
Carefully crafted language to escape the ruins.
I guess I'm arrogant.
To you my concerns are assaults to your manhood.
Any question about your behavior and you fly off the wall.
Hurling insults like spikes in volleyball.
I don't fucking play sports.
I guess I'm emotional.
Because feeling, is weakness and clearly I'm pathetic.
feeling... is...
bitchin.
I'm no stranger to dealing with verbally abusive and manipulative people. I come from a long line of individuals who do not communicate in positive ways. It starts small with little digs like, "You're going out like that?" Eventually it becomes passive-aggressive insults. As the insults slide, and defenses lower, confidence plummets.
At some point, I lost my voice. I felt guilty for asserting myself or my needs. Sarcastic "apologies" and backhanded compliments became normal. I was to blame according to everyone around me. Honestly, I was. I had no boundaries and no confidence.
Learning to confidently mean what I say, and to walk away from situations that no longer serve me. I walk away from spaces where my energy is not welcome. I'm not perfect, but I am determined to be at peace.
My emotions are normal. I have a right to feel. I have the authority to command respect of my needs without guilt.
Stay bitchin' family.
Z