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Half Baked Poetry - Pt. 2

September 13, 2018

Bitchin'

 

I guess I'm a bitch.

 

I don't tolerate being disrespected.

Not the type to pop off because I'm unrelenting.

Instead I speak my peace and try to listen.

 

I come to every discussion prepared with solutions

Carefully crafted language to escape the ruins.

 

I guess I'm arrogant.

 

To you my concerns are assaults to your manhood.

Any question about your behavior and you fly off the wall.

Hurling insults like spikes in volleyball.

 

I don't fucking play sports.

 

I guess I'm emotional.

 

Because feeling, is weakness and clearly I'm pathetic.

 

feeling... is...

 

bitchin.

 

I'm no stranger to dealing with verbally abusive and manipulative people. I come from a long line of individuals who do not communicate in positive ways. It starts small with little digs like, "You're going out like that?" Eventually it becomes passive-aggressive insults. As the insults slide, and defenses lower, confidence plummets.

 

At some point, I lost my voice. I felt guilty for asserting myself or my needs. Sarcastic "apologies" and backhanded compliments became normal. I was to blame according to everyone around me. Honestly, I was. I had no boundaries and no confidence. 

 

Learning to confidently mean what I say, and to walk away from situations that no longer serve me. I walk away from spaces where my energy is not welcome. I'm not perfect, but I am determined to be at peace. 

 

My emotions are normal. I have a right to feel. I have the authority to command respect of my needs without guilt.

 

Stay bitchin' family.

 

Z

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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